Sunrise of our new life together: The REAL Engagement Lowdown

Thursday, May 3, 2012

The REAL Engagement Lowdown

OK, so I read his post and I need to clarify a few things. WE decided that we would have our first kiss in a romantic spot so when he picked me up on Tuesday morning and he tried to kiss me the first thing I barely resisted him and turned my head. My porch wasn't a very romantic spot in my mind. Napa sounded better! After I had a make-over in Macy's, we drove to Napa and had lunch all to ourselves in a romantic restaurant in the Sterling Suites. Then Bruce went to get his wallet which he left in the car. Really? The waiter teased me about that one. And when he came back he looked all sheepish and said that we needed to leave and find a new 'romantic spot'. Well, he didn't describe the 'pond' very well. The problem was that there was a statue in the middle of the pond--and what kind of statue wouldn't be very romantic for a proposal situation? How about a naked little boy, uh, going to the bathroom, into the pond? haha! So, he found another hotel with a romantic spot in a beautiful quad area and we sat by a brick wall with music and a waterfall and we talked for a little while. He took a big sigh and asked if I was ready and he knelt down, said some romantic things (too bad--you don't get to know them), and proposed to me. I, of course, said 'yes'! He apologized that he didn't have a ring. (He had just gotten back into town the day before--and when he left he had NO IDEA that he was going to propose to me when he got back. Isn't that amazing?) So we had our first kiss! After we were engaged! (Thankfully, our first kiss wasn't at our wedding!)

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Part D - The Flame Grows

After the hug on the porch I knew I had to make my move with Beth. I couldn’t ignore my feelings for her any more and I had to find out if there was a chance of us seeing each other. So I took a chance and reached out to her so I could explain how I felt. Her reply was anything but reassuring to me. She said she had been wanting to get to know a certain guy better and that she would see him at the upcoming single's Christmas party. Although I had fun at the Christmas party, I was very uncomfortable watching her give him attention. The last thing I remember seeing as I left the party was Beth and this guy standing by his car talking and then walking back towards the house. My heart was broken because for all appearances, they seemed interested in each other. It was a long drive home that night.

I knew Beth was leaving for Southern California the next day and figured I would never hear from her again. But to my wonderful surprise, she called me from her car during her trip down south. She informed me that it would only be a casual friendship between her and the guy and cautiously left the door open for me to continue communicating with her. Which I happily, but cautiously did. For the remainder of December 2011 and the beginning of January 2012, I carefully worded my communications to her so as not to scare her off. During this time I had difficulty reading Beth’s interest and intentions. Because of my cautious approach to Beth, I bought and sent her a few Christmas presents that were not personal or that had deep meaning. If all progressed well however, we would get to that later.

Part C - Cautiously at 1st

The challenge I was then facing was to determine whether Beth would be interested in dating me. I quickly became involved with the Roseville group of single adults, of which Beth was part, and had a great time with them. We had a Mystery Dinner, a day in Apple Hill, a day in San Francisco, an evening of Christmas shopping and dancing at the Jingle Ball. Through all this I still couldn’t determine whether Beth had any interest in me or not. I had to come up with a strategy for keeping Beth around until I could build the courage to ask her out. The strategy I settled on was to do everything in four’s. Four corsages for the Jingle Ball, four tickets for the David Archuleta concert – all in hopes that I could determine whether Beth had any interest on which we could build a relationship. However, at the Jingle Ball when we were discussing the Archuleta concert, Beth made it clear that she was feeling like a third peg whenever she was with me and the other women from Roseville. I realized that my strategy was not meeting it’s intended purpose with Beth.

I bought four tickets to the David Archuleta concert so Beth could find someone she enjoyed to go with her. My heart wasn’t really in it as is evidenced by an email I sent her after the concert. It read “Even though I bought the fourth ticket in hopes of your finding someone who you enjoyed, who could go along, I wasn't very interested in helping find a guy to go with you - that seems as though it would have been self-defeating.” The concert was wonderful and we all had a great time. As Beth had to teach school the day after the concert, she fell asleep in the truck on the way home. I pulled up in front of her house and helped her carry her books to the front door. As I hugged this little sleepy wonderful woman on her front porch that night, I could tell the spark in me for Beth was beginning to grow.

Meanwhile...my new job

While I am blissfully unaware of the changes that are about to take place in my life, I apply for a geometry teaching job in Roseville. I had been calling them all spring and summer with no luck so I fasted on Sunday and called them the next Tuesday. She told me that the job was filled, but that there was one in Placerville and was I interested? (oh, yes! my foot could be in the door and then I could transfer to Roseville sometime in the future.) After I said, "Yes," she asked me if I knew how far it was to Placerville from Roseville (it was about an hour). She asked if she could call the principal up there and give her my name and number and I said yes and to please let her know that I sounded nice. The principal calls me a little while later and asks if it was ok if we did a phone interview right then. Two thoughts ran through my head: 1. Boy, am I glad that I went to the church unemployment night and got tips about interviews and 2. It probably would be better to have a last minute interview than to stew and worry about an interview that would take place a week from then. So, we had an interview over the phone! What would you say your strengths are? What would you say your weaknesses are? Oh my goodness! I hadn't had a job interview in over 20 years! When I apply for substitute teaching, they are just happy that you want to do it. After the interview, she said that she'd let me know, and I said that I was leaving that Friday (for a church Singles Conference in Orange County, but I didn't say that) and she said that she'd get back to me before then. She called the next day and said that she wanted to offer me a job, but not the one that I wanted. You see, she previously had asked if I had an English degree because her English teacher had quit that morning. Tuesday morning. The morning that I had called. So she offered me the English teaching job. I felt like I was in the army. I had applied for the Geometry job in Roseville and got the English job in Placerville! I said in a low voice, "I'd rather have the geometry job, but..." and then in a normal excited voice, "I'll take it!" The point of this whole drawn out story is that Bruce lives 1 hour 15 minutes from Roseville, but 10-15 minutes from PLACERVILLE. This close proximity has proven to be quite a blessing and benefit to us for helping us get to know each other better and; therefore, fall in love easier/quicker/deeper. Do you think that Heavenly Father has a plan for us? That there aren't coincidences? It's been wonderful for us.

Finding Bruce

Part B - We Meet Again

At the same time, my youngest son was dating a lovely girl from Sacramento which eventually led to their getting married in January 2012. In early September he was visiting her at her parents house and was told that her mother had a friend – who had a friend that was looking for a single guy named Bruce. When my son told me this, I knew it had to be Beth because there was no one else in SMSAC who knew me. Knowing that Beth hadn’t forgotten about me, I planned on attending the September 25 fireside. That same Sunday my high council responsibilities were changed to the Young Single Adult and Single Adult programs and I was asked to attend the SMSAC planning meeting before the fireside. The fireside that Sunday was hosted by Woodland Stake where I had served a couple of years on the high council and also as part of the SMSAC committee. The high councilor from Woodland Stake asked me if I would give the benediction at the fireside. He announced my name, I gave the benediction and Beth quickly came up to the stand to get my contact information that she had previously lost. I thought to myself “what a beautiful woman!”

Part A - We Meet

Until July 2011 I felt comfortable in my life as a widower. However, in July, I began to feel an unexplainable restlessness to break out of the bubble I had created for myself. So I decided to attend the July 24 fireside with a friend.

After the fireside was over and everyone was dismissed to the cultural hall for refreshments and socializing, I decided to go sit out front and wait for my friend to come out. I had convinced myself that I really didn’t need to meet any of the singles. However, as I was sitting there by myself the thought came to me that I should go in and at least meet a few of his friends. Just as I approached his circle of friends, Beth bounced up and asked if anyone was interested in a game night. As soon as I saw Beth I thought “there’s a woman I’d like to meet and get to know.” I gave her my email address and said I would be busy the next couple months with some projects I was finishing. I told her to contact me in a couple of months.

Sunrise of our new life together